I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
