do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
