Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
