I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
