apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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