HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
