Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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