I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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