pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I accidentally burped into my bong.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Text me some of your sweat
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
