Got a toothbrush?
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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