did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Let's get the cat blown out
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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