I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Slut skills are useful in every country.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
