I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
