dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I am naked and annoyed.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
