Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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