Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
