Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
