You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
