I hate all girls vehemently.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
