I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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