ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize