just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
