Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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