So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
