Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
