so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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