Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
