What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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