Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
