I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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