maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize