Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
