the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
