I cockslap morals
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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