Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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