well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
