This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
