She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize