Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
