Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I still have a little drunk in my system
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
