but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize