And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
