She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
