If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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