I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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