You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize