They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
