At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
