I think my vagina is haunted
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
