I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I said "one day" and that day is not today
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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