Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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