I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize