im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
