she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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