Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
